Editor’s Note: Have a question about why Matt, who is as delusional and solipsistic as his arch-nemesis Donald Trump, hasn’t, like Trump, posted an AI picture of himself as Jesus? Well, Matt’s righting that wrong, stat. Today’s cover photo is an AI mashup of Matt not caring if it rains or freezes, long as he is his plastic Jesus, sitting on the dashboard of his car. If you have any less blasphemous questions, ask Christ’s humble servant, Matt — already groveling for forgiveness —[email protected]
Dear Matt,You’ve bitched a lot about Trump and the Iran War. But as of today, looks like the Strait of Hormuz is open, oil prices are falling, stock prices are surging, and there might be a nuclear deal on the horizon. Do you have any plans to eat crow yet, and will you be posting the video if you do?Hugs and kisses,K. Leavitt
Well, that didn’t take long, did it? I wrote an answer to this question, went to bed, and woke to the news that Iran re-closed the Strait by this morning, while firing on at least two tankers. That said, I’m not too proud to eat crow pie, crow crudités, crow nachos, and crow carpaccio if anyone can demonstrate to me — even if all turns out okay in the end (a monster “if”) — how we’re better off now than we were two months ago. Which exactly nobody can do at the moment. Not just because Trump has a special knack for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (see the economy, which was humming along pretty steadily until he found umpteen different ways to personally disrupt it). But because thus far, Trump’s entire Iran War, or “Little Excursion” as he prefers, has felt a bit like watching a man amputate his own arm, then affixing some Velcro to the end of his bloody stump, while insisting, “See! It picks things up just as good as it used to!” Trump might call this a victory. And being the Premature-Ejaculator-In-Chief, he already has. But most reality-based types would call it self-mutilation: congratulating yourself for (potentially) solving problems that you caused. Though we’re still paying over four dollars a gallon for gas, which will ripple throughout the entire economy on the back end. So guess what? Problem not solved. Sorry, Stable Genius, but you don’t get to blow a hole in our hull, then expect to get a medal for being a strong swimmer as the ship goes down.
Recognize, too, that the Strait of Hormuz was open before Trump interrupted all negotiations in order to force Iran into trapped-rat-in-a-corner territory, helping them demonstrate to themselves and the world how easy it is to take the global economy hostage. We didn’t have any of these problems beforehand, except for the generally problematic Iran itself, which has long been a pisser of an evil empire, and continues to be so. But despite Trump’s spilling of blood and treasure, the same regime is still in place, nominally headed by the son of the guy who was just assassinated by us. So I’m sure he’s feeling generous and conciliatory and not at all prone to deception.
And as of now, Iran’s “nuclear dust” as Trump calls it, is still in their possession. Even if they claim to hand it all over, it’ll be hard to verify that they’re telling the truth. Much as it was hard to verify during Obama’s nuclear deal, which Trump threw out, but which remains the best (if imperfect) deal we’ve had before or since. Trump’s promised nuclear deal has been about as evident as his healthcare alternative after he jettisoned all the Obamacare subsidies. Most of his “improvements” tend to be figments of his imagination. But it’s hard to keep such policy particulars straight when you have more pressing concerns, like picking up gold tchotchkes at HomeGoods for the Oval Office, while ensuring that your half-a-billion-dollar White House ballroom is appropriately garish.
Cards on the table: I want America to succeed (and to get back to under-three-dollar-a-gallon gas), more than I enjoy watching Trump fail. That said, watching Trump getting de-pants’ed over the last month or so for his disastrous decision-making and arrogant impetuousness has delivered a schadenfreudic payload like few other episodes in his career. Our allies despise him. His own MAGA-cultistfraudcastersare defecting on him. And his failures are advertised 24/7 by a ubiquitous news-delivery-system that has much greater reach than his Fox propagandists ever could. Because every time you drive past a Shell or Chevron station price marquee, you’re reminded of what a five-alarm goatfork this foolhardy adventure has been. And while it might be easy for Trumpist stalwarts to ignore warnings about him hamstringing democracy, it’s much harder for them to ignore their wallets getting bled out. But since I’ve now lived through ten years of Trumpbots practicing blind-faith Trumpism, I have little doubt that they’ll try.
Matt,I’m finding out that the longer AI and I are chatting about what color to paint our upstairs, AI is surreptitiously scanning my computer and passing the info to an aggregator, to be used for “later.” Google and my cable provider know, minute by minute, what I might possibly buy and what kind of entertainment I like. Even my music streamer is judging my musical taste!
Then this - “At an Easter lunch event at the White House, Trump’s ‘faith advisor’ Paula White-Cain compared Trump to Jesus Christ. ‘You were betrayed and arrested and falsely accused. It’s a familiar pattern that our Lord and Savior showed us. Because of His resurrection, you rose up.’” -Charlie Sykes
The hermitage is calling. Should I answer the call? Should we? Should we go full Thoreau and find our Walden Pond?
How can we opt out of our current place in time? Should we?
Source: Drudge Report
