Early English defined the word “grief” as physical hardship, suffering, or a heavy burden.
“Sorrow” stems from intense suffering from loss of a loved one.
“Despair” is a deep, overwhelming sense that a situation is hopeless and cannot improve.
Bereaved means “to be torn apart.” To be deprived of a loved one through death.
On February 18, 2026, at 6:00 p.m., after seven years battling with Alzheimer’s Disease, my wife Sandi, the love of my life, died in my arms. Since that moment, I have struggled daily through my anguish, my pain, and my deep sorrow to regain my life and re-engage with life. At first, I wished I could join her in death. I would go to bed at night hoping I would not wake up. Alas, here it is nearly eight months later, and I’m still alive…trying to figure out the “why” of her being picked out for that cruelest of diseases. After attending “grief” groups at church, I am one among millions to lose a loved one. The reality is: death of a loved one happens to just about everyone on this planet.
Additionally, after much research, over 4,000,000 families in America suffer from one of their loved ones being afflicted by Alzheimer’s Disease. Millions more suffer from Parkinson’s, and ALS. Each disease destroys the body’s ability to function. All of those persons will die, and their family members will suffer untold misery, hurt, pain and anguish.
Alzheimer’s reduced Sandi from a vibrant, vital, beautiful and energetic woman…to a skeleton of 85 pounds, face destroyed, mind vanished, and barely able to walk. Her death that night will play on my mind for the rest of my life. My heart broke into a million pieces of despair, sorrow and grief.
My journey has caused me to cry a bathtub full of tears. I can’t sleep because my mind rolls around all night with what happened to her. My journey has felt desperate to regain meaning in my life. How do I find meaning when the very essence of my life was Sandi? We were a fabulous team, fabulous dancers, fabulous travelers, and we laughed a lot.
One thing happened during this period: my empathy levels for those who lose loved ones has gone up 1,000 percent. I know the unimaginable suffering going on for those who lose a loved one in an accident, from cancer, from a heart attack, from drugs, from alcohol and other forms of death. Loss of a pet ranks up there in pain and anguish.
In the morning, I reluctantly awaken to face the day. Oftentimes, I ask, “Why Sandi? Why me? Why us?” We lived good, kind, moral, ethical lives. We were madly in love for 32 years. On the dance floor, she was my Rita Hayworth and Ginger Rogers rolled into one.
Source: Rense.com
