J.D. Vance calls Jimmy to announce a "renewal of his Christian faith" and proudly declares he believes in the "really weird and scary parts" of the Bible, while acknowledging that his actions could "bring on the end times." He explains that this religious pivot is a deliberate distraction from the disastrous Iran war and from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's alleged crusade to turn the Pentagon into a "Knights Templar."
Vance admits he called Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed "an evil, deeply evil man" as a dog whistle against Islam, and cynically notes that his base loves end-times rhetoric because their lives are "absolutely dogshit" and they want the world to end. Jimmy calls Vance's comments disqualifying, but Vance dismisses him and says he's off to pitch an "Armageddon porn" AI animation for Truth Social.
Voice impression provided by Mike MacRae
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