Aziz Ansari returned toSaturday Night Liveon Saturday, 9 May, with a sketch branding Kash Patel a 'kid with fake ID' and mocking his 18‑year age gap with girlfriend Alexis Wilkins during the NBC show's cold open.
For context, the episode was hosted by Hollywood actor Matt Damon, with Noah Kahan as musical guest. The cold open took place in a fictional Washington, D.C. bar, where Colin Jost played Secretary of War Pete Hegseth meeting Damon's Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and Ansari's Kash Patel to complain about their lives and jobs.
The news came after Jost and Damon's characters shared drinks on screen before Ansari's version of Patel arrived as FBI Director, eyes exaggeratedly wide. In the sketch, Patel immediately launched into a monologue about his private life, telling the others, 'My girlfriend wants to open up our relationship.' The line was presented as a joke about Kash Patel's real‑life relationship withcountry singer Alexis Wilkins, who is 18 years younger than him.
Ansari's Patel went on, 'We're all living the American dream. I'm the first person in my family to go to college... parties... many years after graduating.' Damon's Kavanaugh responded by asking, 'Is that rumor true that you make everyone in the FBI take a polygraph?' continuing the show's cartoon version of senior officials casually abusing power.
Ansari then replied, 'No, I told them to make a graph of everyone in the FBI who's poly. My girlfriend wants to open up our relationship. She said she wants to bring other dudes in the bedroom and for me to stay in the living room.' The repetition kept Patel's love life at the centre of the bit rather than his work history, turning the age‑gap relationship into recurring material in the barroom exchange.
Earlier in the skit, Jost mocked Hegseth'sheavy drinkinghabits, describing 'a shot of beer with a pint of whiskey' at the bar. Damon, reprising his 2018 role as Kavanaugh, told a story about failing a sobriety test where he 'couldn't make a circle,' playing off long‑running allegations about Kavanaugh's drinking.
Jost's character tried to console him after he ordered Bud Lights, saying, 'At least you knew it was a shape.' He then complained, 'I worked so heard on this Iran war. I'm just scared it's going to end.' Damon's Kavanaugh replied, 'You know what the real war is. The real war. It's the war against male loneliness,' before dropping his head, setting up the idea of three isolated, self‑pitying men in power.
'I used to have all my buddies to hang out with,' Damon continued. 'I just wish there was more people in this administration who could really hang.' At that point, Ansari's Kash Patel burst into the scene shouting, 'Does this bar take cash?' and pulled out a bottle.
He yelled, 'Imade my own FBI bourbonwith my name on it. Yes. Somehow, this is a real thing. That I, the real FBI director, has made,' spoofing self‑branding and side hustles as part of his persona. He then leaned back into the personal mockery that tied the sketch to the 'kid with fake ID' headline.
Before screwing up his face, he added, 'I bring my own alcohol to bars because sometime they think I'm a kid with the fake ID. They say no adult would make this face an official photo.' The gag underscored the idea of Patel being treated as too young for the room while, in reality, dating a woman nearly two decades younger. The skit ended with Damon, Jost and Ansari singing Chumbawamba's 'Tubthumping'.
Source: International Business Times UK
