“Your parents become like your children.” For many adult children, those words from elder law expert Jennifer Cona describe a daunting new reality.
This role reversal isn’t just emotionally taxing; it’s a logistical minefield. “It requires a ton of patience,” Cona explains, “and a lot of us don’t have that because we’ve got very busy careers, lives, and kids.” According to the Melville-based attorney, the key to surviving this transition without burnout lies in one thing: proactive legal planning.
Speaking in a recent webinar hosted by Schneps Media, Cona, founder and managing partner at Kona Elder Law, along with Melissa Negrin-Weiner, senior partner at the firm, highlighted strategies to avoid caregiving pitfalls such as caregiver burnout.
Part of this planning involves completing legal processes before they become an issue.
“It’s so much worse when you don’t plan because now you’re in a state of chaos, right?” Negrin-Weiner said. “It makes it a little bit easier to deal with the emotional piece than when you’re in this state of chaos and you’re trying to have documents signed, and capacity might be an issue.”
Negrin-Weiner identified three essential documents that should be prepared: a power of attorney, which is important for financial decisions when a person is no longer capacitated, a health care proxy, which is used to appoint someone to make medical decisions, and a living will, to document specific end-of-life wishes.
Negrin-Weiner pointed out that if a parent becomes incapacitated without the proper documentation, they would have to go through a guardianship proceeding, a legal process in which the court appoints somebody to make decisions for that person.
“Even if (guardianships) are straightforward, and everyone’s on the same page, they still take a lot of time and cost a lot of money,” said Negrin Weiner
Negrin-Weiner warned of issues that could arise when guardianships are contested by family members. “ In a contested situation with multiple attorneys, it’s just time and money and really everybody kind of forgets about the person that is the main focus of the issue,” said Negrin-Weiner.
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Source: LI Press
